It happened last May. I was four months pregnant. I called my mom while sitting in a dark room, the topic of conversation was that we needed a break.
Growing up, my mom and I had a tumultuous relationship. When I reached adulthood, married and moved to North Carolina, I'd say I didn't like her very much. We talked often and she visited once a month. Our phone relationship was good but when she'd visit I would be stressed. My family moved back to Ohio and we were again close in proximity. Our superficial relationship continued for the next three years.
Telling my mom that we needed a break (yes, I actually used those words) was one of the hardest things I've ever had to say. God gave me the courage and strength and I knew this was something our relationship needed. I wasn't sure how long of a break we needed. Mom would call and talk to Sarah, she didn't want to lose any part of that relationship and I agreed. I probably spoke to her once a week, very light and casual, telling her how I was feeling (physically) and how the pregnancy was going.
I was in labor with Katie and my mom was driving in from Columbus (she moved there in 2010), she had worked that day and was getting to Youngstown as fast as she could. She arrived at the hospital while I was pushing, just in time to see Katie enter the world, even though Dave was the only one suppose to be in the room with me :)
We had a few "real" conversations during our break but nothing which led to healing or change. Until I gave birth to my second daughter. Something about being a mom, naturally draws you closer to your own mother. It may sound cliche, but it's so true! I asked my mom to stay with me that night in the hospital. It was an automatic, divine connection to her and we haven't been the same since.
Looking back, becoming a mom for the second time definitely helped me to appreciate and need my mother more. Even more, I believe our relationship is changing because I was able to be honest with her. I was honest with her in needing a break and setting boundaries until we were able to relate to each other in a healthy way. God gave us a renewed mother/daughter relationship.
I talk to my mom every day now. We share things with each other that we never did before. We have both made changes in ourselves which allows us to be comfortable with one another. I am so proud of her and so in love with her as my mother.
My mom was recently diagnosed with cancer. She goes in for surgery this Thursday. Because we became close and strong before her diagnosis, I can now be there for her because I want to be. God's timing is awesome!!
