February 9, 2012

That ugly "F" word

Failure...it's probably the worst "F" word you could say to me.  I was forced to face it today.  It sounds pretty trivial when I say it outloud, but my failure today sent me into a stressed-out slump.
I've been gearing up to bake cupcakes, from scratch, for about 2 weeks now.  I received a fancy cupcake book and thought I'd give it a shot.  Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought the ingredients that I needed...I was able to do this only because I had a sitter to watch my anti-grocery shopping baby!
So, when Sarah was at school and Katie was sleeping I got my book out and started at it.  The cupcakes were pretty easy and not too time consuming.  The frosting on the other hand was a different story!  I literally spent 2 hours in the kitchen mixing three different batches of the same frosting recipe.  For all you bakers out there...the first batch didn't peak properly, the second tasted like I was eating a stick of butter and the third turned to soup when I added a carmel sauce that I also made from scratch.
I gave up when it was time for dinner.  I was overwhelmed with this frustrated feeling that I couldn't shake.  I knew I shouldn't be so upset that the frosting didn't turn out...it was only cupcakes!  After staying in this slump for about an hour I realized it was more than the frosting not being perfect (edible at that), it was about me failing.  Ugh, what an ugly truth.
I don't have any inspirational, motivational mumbo-jumbo to share after discovering this; but I do have an appreciation for learning something about myself...ugly and all.
Isn't it amazing what baking can teach us!

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